We’re back!

It was an interesting trip to say the least.

First, the good news. My sister got married to a great guy and they’re both super happy. And I’m an Uncle again! My sister and brother-in-law told me that they just found out the week earlier that she’s pregnant.

The Airport
Should have known we were in for fun when we landed, I grabbed our stuff from the overhead compartment and… mine and Keli’s jackets were taken. Which, in Maui, isn’t a huge problem. Until you land in San Francisco at 6 o’clock on a November morning.

The Alamo Rental Car Place
We got to the rental car place, which was all taken care of for us… almost. They had reserved for us a two-door “compact” car and when we asked how big it was they tried to tell us that we could fit two adults, a baby with car seat, a 5-year-old, two luggage bags, four carry-ons and a stroller. Right!

Next we were told that since I’m only 24 (at the time, I was one month, one day away from turning 25 – which is their cut off where you are no longer “under age”) they “had” to charge me an extra $20 per day which we had the car for a “Under age driver” fee. I pleaded with them to waive it since an extra month and one day was not going to do anything to magically make me a better driver. She said there’s no way she could waive it. Understanding that she doesn’t personally make the stupid policies, I let the issue go. Canceling the reservation wasn’t an option since we would no doubt be charged last-minute cancellation fees, plus the minor detail that the airport was a 45 minute drive away from hotel. Then she tells me that for the same amount of money that they “had” to charge me that she couldn’t waive, we could get upgraded to an “economy car”. This baffled me.

As did the next event in which I was asked “Do you need extra insurance?” I said no, as it’s a rip-off and we already had to spend an unexpected $100 (plus taxes) on an already tight Maui-budget. I told them that I have full coverage already and, without even looking at my insurance card they handed us the info for our car. Apparently they’re only concerned about safety and their cars until they squeeze an extra Franklin out of you, after that, the don’t really care if you have the legally required insurance to drive or not. Oh, and the “upgrade” to an economy car? It was to a Pontiac Grand Prix. Yes, it has four doors, but crap for storage room that is a necessity when traveling 2,500+ miles with two kids, both under 6 years of age. The next morning the car started making a squealing noise and the “Oil Change Needed Soon” message came on for the duration of the trip.

The Hotel
When we made it to the hotel, after what seemed like an eternity, we had huge hopes. We were staying at the Outrigger Royal Kahana. Little did we know, that it was a timeshare rental establishment. Which means each and every room was independently owned. It’s like a huge crap shoot. We got into our room, unpacked and everything seemed fine. It was what you would expect - a bible from the Gideons, AC, a TC, VCR with VHS self-recorded tapes such as Rio Bravo and “Vacation Videos”. There was a boombox with tapes along with burned copies of Hawaiian music and cassette tapes such as Herb Alpert and Don Ho.

After an initial sweep of the room, as all parents are no doubt used to, I made a couple of changes including: moved the phone up higher and hid the cord from Mason’s reach, removed the steak knives out of the second-from-bottom drawer to the top of the fridge As the rest of that night and the next morning went on, we realized that an all-tile floor in a hotel room is a bad idea. Kids + sand + water + tile flooring = Boo boos. We also found that our sixth-floor room balcony had a quite nice view of the beach, the only problem was that the screen door kept falling off the tracks every time someone (ie: Mason) would brush against it. We changed rooms the next afternoon and got into our new room with barely enough time to drive to the beach my sister was to be married on. We didn’t have much of a choice since all of our clothes for the wedding were re-packed into our bags which were sitting on a luggage cart awaiting our new room. We weren’t the only ones who had room issues either. One party in our group had to change rooms due to excessive mold and general wretched cleanliness just as one example.

Hawai’i is a Costly Island
No, I’m not referring to the cost of buying pineapples in airport-friendly packaging. Last year on the trip, Keli lost her wedding ring, we think while snorkeling. This year we both lost jackets technically on Hawaiian soil and our digital camera was also lost/stolen while a bunch of us were on a beach in between Kahana and Lahaina. D’oh!

Overall, the trip was still a ton of fun but we’re happy to finally be home in our own comfortable bed, the kids have the rest of their toys, and we no longer have to deal with prices like $3.00+ for a dozen eggs.

Related posts:

1. Porn stars and mai tais
2. The happiest place on Earth
3. A much needed vacation
4. Mother’s Day
5. I’m still alive

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