Grandpa Bill passed away

November 18th, 2006 | Ramblings of the Dan

This morning I got a call from my mom telling me that Grandpa Bill had passed away suddenly from cancer. To be clear, he was not my biological Grandfather but that doesn’t do a damned thing to assuage the sadness I feel. It’s like someone punched me in the stomach a few times. As you can tell by the article, Grandpa Bill was an all around terrific guy. Nice to everyone and accommodating of everyone and a gentle soul. I found out about his passing only this morning - 12 days after cancer overtook him, and on the morning of his “private” memorial service.

In Kindergarten I became friends with a boy named Ryan. Over the years we became best friends and were practically inseparable all the way up to high school. When we were younger, Ryan and I have a bunch of sleep overs at his grandparent’s house in Healdsburg. His grandpa always insisted that since I was “practically family” that I call him “Grandpa Bill”. Grandpa Bill was the the man who ignited mine and Ryan’s youthful passion for all things Yo-yo. They took us to see a bunch of movies back then… one of which was “Hook”. When we got older and the sleep-overs ended, I would still see Grandpa Bill at any big event in mine or Ryan’s lives: Our first band concert (Ryan played the Saxophone and I played the Clarinet), at our graduations from elementary, middle and high schools, and so on.

Come to find out by talking with my biological grandpa when I was little, he too knew Bill. It seems that my Grandpa had been going to Grandpa Bill’s barber shop for years. Whenever I saw one of them, they would always ask how the other was doing. I can’t even say that Grandpa Bill taught me a lot about life… except how to Walk the Dog and Rock the Cradle with the blue Duncan Butterfly Yo-yo he bought me on the way to the movies one night. He was just one of the few people that come into your life and just for being their own kind selves, leave you forever changed.

I found out at the early age of 5 (or maybe it was 6) that religion can be both a uniting and dividing force. My family, as many of you know, were Christians while Ryan’s family were Jehovah’s Witnesses. I learned very early on that while our families had these two major differences, each of us was accepted unconditionally into the other’s families. Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t celebrate holidays like Christmas, they don’t acknowledge the Pledge of Allegiance, and they don’t celebrate birthdays. I was always able to bend the rules and give Ryan a birthday gift each year. It was never on his birthday, and we referred to it as a “Friend Gift”. At Christmas time, my mom became known in many circles for her outrageously bountiful and yummy holiday baking. Pounds of chocolate and walnut fudge. Little cookies shaped like Scottie Dogs, Christmas Trees and pin-wheels. She used to make these “Snowball” cookies that were basically made of butter, flour, walnuts, sugar and then rolled, while still toasty warm, in powdered sugar. After the baking was done, we would always take them over a big batch to feast upon. They would come to our house a lot during the winter season to see our house all decorated… it must have seemed otherworldly to them. In the summers our families would have BBQs and garage sales at Ryan’s house. His mom used to make the best chocolate malt milkshakes.

Our families basically became one huge family. Ryan and I were avid skaters and we would be out all day with various friends skating all over town. In middle school, we both befriended another kid named Jimmy. At first we all got along. But as time went on I realized that Jimmy wasn’t as nice as he seemed. Finally, one day, I got tired of hearing him mock and ridicule my other friends behind their backs. I don’t remember my exact words, but I got the point across that he was a weak, pathetic person and from then on I didn’t associate with him. Ryan chose to remain friends with him and from then on we seemed to part ways.

Aside from our parents, Ryan was the first person I told when we found out that Keli was pregnant. I think it really freaked him out. We were practically bothers and so I was excited for him to be a part of my child’s life. He was my Best Man when Keli and I got married. After that and graduation, even though neither of us left the county, we only saw each other a few times. Numerous calls and emails to him trying to hang out or just get together for a BBQ went unanswered. Our moms still talk to this day and it’s through them that I found out that Ryan had gotten so immersed into being a Jehovah’s Witness that he actually shunned anyone who was not a JW themselves.

That was a lot of rambling, but the passing of Grandpa Bill has brought a lot of memories floating to the surface - which only increases the sadness because it’s never fun to remember the good times that are no longer happening for reasons beyond your control.

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