Rambling on a Cold Night in November

Nov 25., 2009 0 Comments

For a while now there have been a lot of things swimming around in my head but nearly every time I sit down to write, the thoughts hit a brick wall. As I’ve had to do in the past to knock down that wall, this post is basically just one big stream of consciousness. You’ve been warned.

Parenting

My parents never said parenting would be easy, but as a kid you never really think that your parents know what they’re talking about. My daughter just turned nine-years-old this week and it’s a very surreal thing to remember how I felt, just moments after she was born. My life since then has been a very twisted and complicated version of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride from Disneyland (when Disneyland was good!). Along with her bump in age, her attitude and mood swings have been brutal. Enough to give ‘roid raging bodybuilder a run for his money. Keli and I were talking the other day and we realized that she will turn 13 on a Black Friday. Life doesn’t give you any clearer warning signs than that one.

There are, literally, days when I just stare at this kid who is doing her game-winning effort to re-enact The Exorcist right there in our living room, in utter disbelief that she in fact is my child.

There are days when I come close to completely freaking out and shouting at her, “WHO ARE YOU?! YOU’RE NOT THE LITTLE GIRL I BROUGHT HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL! YOU’RE SOME DEVIL-SPAWN DOPPELGANGER THAT HAS REPLACED THAT NICE, SWEET CHILD WITH LUCIFER HIMSELF!”

But I don’t. As a parent, you can’t do that. As my friend John once told me, “You gotta keep your cool. You take all of that anger and save it for something really good, like when you catch a fool trying to steal your car.”

As insane as that kid gets, at the end of the day all I can to is laugh to myself about how much of a lunatic that kid is. But I love her to pieces. I love every freckle on her face; every strand of hair that is now “mysteriously” shorter due to her feeling adventurous with my hair clippers; every time she treats us to one of her genuine, deep-down-from-the-belly laughs.

I just can’t believe she’s 9 already.

Music

An office-mate introduced me to Grooveshark.com the other day and since then I’ve found myself listening to one of the most bizarre collections of music. It even makes me stop and think “What am I listening to?” Like right now, I’m listening to “Chelsea Daggers” by The Fratellis, simply because part of it was in a catchy Amstel Light commercial.

The song just before it was “Bank Robber” by The Clash. The one before that one? “Hate It Or Love It” by The Game ft. 50 Cent.

Go check out Grooveshark. It’s pretty cool.

The New Baby

Kid #3 is due sometime next month. They’re not entirely clear on the due date and since we’ve been told 12/5, 12/6 and 12/18, we’re going off of the assumption that the entire month of December is on hold until the baby is born.

Now that we’re right there, mere yards from the finish line, I’m realizing that I’m pretty freaked out about having a third kid. But only when it comes to finding time and ways to spend quality one-on-one time with the two we already have, when there already doesn’t feel like there’s enough time in the day.

The house has filled up with baby stuff again: little diapers, a crib/changing station/playpen/bassinet wedged into our room and wee-sized things all over the place.

Any minute now, it’s game time.